I’m not Looking for the Perfect Man, and you Shouldn’t Either

I'm not looking for the perfect man, and you shouldn't either

I know this sounds crazy, but I’m really not looking for Mr. Perfect. Do you want to know why? Because he doesn’t exist. There isn’t a single person in the entire world that is perfect, so stop searching for it! Great relationships don’t blossom through flawless individuals. They’re bred through patience, love, and understanding.

We live in an era where if it’s broken, we get a new one. This might be a solution for material items, but it’s an emotionally costly decision to make when it comes to dealing with people. Working through problems with your significant other is an art that really isn’t practiced enough, and I’ve always wondered why.

Recently, I’ve had the unfortunate opportunity to witness a relationship in turmoil. Everyone close to the couple could blatantly see a need for marriage counseling, but knew that it would never happen because of the negative connotation associated with the action. Although the two may have observed a problem themselves, they would never admit it to anyone else.

Choosing to accept that an issue is present in your relationship is much more difficult than most people understand. It means humbling yourself to a very human reality that many wish to hide from their public, and I don’t blame them. If it wasn’t hard enough to repair the issue on your own, now you’re faced with validating your relationship to everyone around you. You have to continually manage your reputable image, which is just a lot of added stress.

Aside from keeping up with social appearance, there’s also the scary realization that this relationship might not lead to the happy ending envisioned. No one wants to fail, and no one wants to start over. Couples refuse to acknowledge the bumps in the road simply because it’s familiar. We’re creatures of habit. Venturing out into the unknown frightens us. A relationship that’s a little rocky seems like a better investment than returning to square one, and talking about the problem immediately puts that at risk.

Perseverance through tough times is an underrated quality that more people should consider when evaluating a partner. While it’s great if you both have similar interests, the ability to deal with problems in your relationship could really be the deciding factor of whether or not you succeed. However, it’s also important to self-evaluate to make sure that you’re taking responsibility for your own mistakes as well. Like I said, no one is perfect, and that includes you. It takes two people to make a relationship work. So, you need to be aware of your own efforts.

Little changes like this can make a big impact on your relationship. I would challenge every couple that’s stuck in a rut to start this conversation that has been put off for far too long. And for those of you still searching for love, don’t be discouraged by the little imperfections. Everyone has them. Plus, you never know. It could just be those added details that truly make you fall in love with a person.

Photo courtesy of Joao Paulo de Vasconcelos on Flickr. Legal Documentation Provided.

 This image has been modified by How to Survive Modern Dating.


5 thoughts on “I’m not Looking for the Perfect Man, and you Shouldn’t Either

  1. I couldn’t agree with you more. Relationships take work. We tend to choose people unconsciously that mirror back to us what is lacking in ourselves. If we consciously realize this, it’s a useful tool for changing behavior and having the relationship we want.

    Making a shift in our own behavior often is the fastest way to get results in how others treat us. Stop pointing the finger and do the work on yourselves. True love will follow.

    Thank you for the insightfulness!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m really glad you liked this post. The idea of love has changed dramatically over time and probably not for the better. We’re all caught up in fantasies that we forget about what it really means to love someone. Hopefully the rest of the world will figure that out soon too. 🙂


  3. It was a pleasure reading your post. God first, is key and critical to overcoming any difficult time in a relationship, period! Society has put a stigma on the word therapy and because of that, the enemy tears relationships apart. Healing comes in more ways than one. Sometimes we just need to know that what we are going through is just a “bump in the road”, and we will get over it in time.
    God bless

    Liked by 2 people

  4. A great, realistic post. Thanks for sharing. And thanks for coming over to my blog and liking To Have and To Hold Continued. I’ll certainly read more of your writing.

    Liked by 1 person

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